Firstly been back to Wilmington 2 weeks ago and had an awesome time, met loads of OTH people and experienced ‘Target’ which is like Asda but 10 times better!!

The day i got back was pretty hectic, first we travelled back from Manchester, then as soon as we hit Derby i hit the road again to Nottingham to see my family. Haven’t seen them in a long time so it was a perfect day really to see them, i have missed them all loads. After that we headed back to Birmingham where i went to watch the Blues beat Arsenal in the Caring Cup Final, it was an amazing day.

Spent the rest of the week recovering from the flying and also at college. On the Wednesday i went to ‘Think Tank’ in town with my placement. Was an awesome day and you could tell the kids where really enjoying themselves.

Last Saturday i went to see Romeo + Juliet at the new RSC theatre, it was a fantastic play. Sam Troughton and Mariah Gale were perfect as Romeo and Juliet, while other fantastic performances from Jonjo O’Neil , Richard Katz and Pete Peverley.

Sunday was my first shift back at work, was a good shift to come back to and a new dishwasher (finally lol). This weeks ive been at work, tidied my room up a bit and on Wednesday had the most brilliant time at placement. I love doing it, and every week i learn something and how to do new things, its quite awesome to do.

I just want to say thanks to everyone who made that week in Wilmington special, before, during and afterwards.

Mum, Dad, Dan, DJ, John, Jean, Jenna, Hollie, Aston, Lauren, Channon, OTH people, Stan, Beth, Phil, Pete, Sarah, Cousins and BCFC. It was amazing so thanks for al your imput and effort, means the world.

So that’s the latest…until next time peace, off to watch Liverpool in the Europa League, YNWA!!

Been a couple of weeks since the one and i have to say nothing has changed apart from the fact i dont give a care anymore. To all them people that want to try and make my life more difficult and like hell. YOU WONT BRING ME DOWN!!

It’s like everybody wants a piece of my atm and do things to piss me off. i’ve had some great advice from Hollie on the phone the other day and from Stephanie Davis on twitter, which has helped so much and now i know what im gonna do, just be confident, be myself and dont let myself be used or walked all over.

I dont talk anymore, honestly i dont. At work, i just want to turn up, do my job and go home. Its not that i dont wanna talk to the people around me, i just dont feel like i can.

I love Wednesday’s at placement. Its the most awesome thing anyoen can do, its perfect for me. Just found out that im 90 per cent sure to be back there on placement in September, which is too awesome cus its where im happiest atm.

I’m going back to America in two weeks but truth im really shitting it. I really have had no time to think about it either which is probably why cus im no where near prepared.

Until next time,

laters

I dont get people, i dont think i ever will. Surely anybody herd of freedom of speech??  and people judge for what i put.

If you dont like what i put on facebook or twitter simple…delete me off ure pages. I wont be losing any sleep over it.

Really disapointed that i didnt get to London on Saturday, but things happen for a reason so just looking forward to America now,

Whats annoyed me this year all ready is that 2011 was ment to change. People actually being honest and upfront with me and i know thats not happening. I find out everything eventually. I just wonder when them people will actually tell me.

Another thing is people wonder why i have no confidence at all and talk about Kelly Clarkson most of the time. Truth is, im kind of fed up of people mucking me about. If you mean no just say no, instead of messing me about.

Im done with being walked all over like some twat and making all the effort with people. Most of the time it’s all one way and people know who i value in my life cus ill make an effort with them.

I dont know why i just feel so angry at the moment. Some people just dont help at all with that, infact they just make it worse.

sorry to go on, hope y’all good. best be off to work,

laters!

I havent been up to alot since i last blogged apart from work but i have been to college. Been put on the level two course but have to catch up with 6 weeks work ..and there’s alot of it haha. So all the 3 year plan has turned into 2 years, which is awesome, just kind of scary. I’m kind of sad because i loved the class i was in…im gonna miss you guys..honestly…ure all totally awesome. At least im not on my own and Stacy’s coming on to the level 2 aswell..so thats good. Your one of the few people i’ve ever met who hasnt judged me for my Kelly Clarkson thing lol….starburst on me next week and dont forget your C.V :p

All joking aside i think this months going to be so challenging…like one of the most testing months of my life. Placement/coursework/work and trying to socialize , but im ready for it.

On the 15th November it would of been a year since my Nan lost her battle with cancer. There’s not a day i dont think about her and most of the time i feel lost becuase i spoke to her about everything..i dont feel i have anybody like that around these day. That year has gone so quick, its unreal.

And a little message to anybody who thinks there not important or there not getting anywhere.

You are important, you have so many things going for you..job, family and friends who all love you so much and you have to remember there are people out there who love you…always!

I thought things were falling apart and stuff was happening between people i care about and not being able to do anything was the worst thing. Trying to sort someone out when you dont know exactly whats wrong…kind of sucked. There all sorted now, which im relieved about.

Went to work Monday night and had a laugh, and the cook-off on Tuesday was a laugh too. Awesome new items on the menu and Kitchen being open til 10 too so if it brings in more customers..im all for it. Tuesday night i went to the footie with DJ, Ste, Gav, Gav’s Mrs, Pete and my bro. It was awesome. Nice to spend time doing something totally different.

Went to Derby today to see one of my best friends, Lauren, and had a wonderful time. Just nice to get away for a while and chill. I only seem to be able to get away with chilling out unless im out with Lauren. It was nice to just see her again, spend some time with her and talk about some stuff . Glad to see Jean too….she always makes me feel welcome, just nice to see them both to be fair.

Me and Elle also sorted out our return to Wilmington in February and i really cant wait. Super exicted to go on another adventure of  Lauren + Jason.

until next time,

laters!

I have my job, yes its not what i want to do, but at least its paying for things that in really want to do, like my course.

I have a placement sorted for November, which i cannot wait to start but more importantly im on an awesome course with a supportive tutor and awesome classmates. For once, its nice to go and learn something with poeple and not one of them are rude, ignorant or destructive. They are all there for the same reason as me, to work their buts off and create a better future for themselves.

I have the best group of friends i’ve ever had in my life. Supportive, always there when i need to talk or just to vent. my two best friends Dan and Lauren are totally awesome…im not the person i am today without your help and advice.

DJ your always here…weather im happy/sad/angry/fed up…your there and thats all i can ask..i just hope i do as much for you as you do to me. I honestly say that when i get married…your already my best man! i wouldnt dream of asking anybody else.

Lauren, i’ve only known you 8 months but hell i couldnt imagine you out of my life. We’ve been through so much and done so much in such a short amount of time its unreal. Stuff that some friends have to wait 20 years to go through . You have changed how i look at life..(honestly i mean that) and to look at the positives more rather than the bad stuff. I was in a really low place in June and you took time to kick my ass into gear and heal me and i’ll never forget that. I know i moan to you about not seeing you alot, but its only beacause i feel like i owe you so much, i feel like i need to give something back. I really hope were still raving to Kelly in 50 years from now .

Family is the MOST important thing by far. You pick me up when im down. You make me smile/cry/laugh but even with the bad stuff that keeps happening to us, we all are unbelievably strong, and we always come out the other end sticking our finger up to the world. I know everybody says this about there’s and they have every right, but seriously..my family make me go on and fight for everything..there all my drive.

There’s not one i love more than the other…i love you all the same. I am proud to be your son/brother/nephew/cousin/friend/classmate/student and you know why…because im proud of every single one of you.

Whoever you are, , what job you do, how well your doing at school, age, gender, race, how many kids you have. your all as important as eachother and never let anyone tell you any different.

This song i wrote on one Thursday afternoon about a month back. one day im gonna write a light hearted song like ‘i want you’ or something haha.  

Anyways here’s the song..enjoy:

1st:

The distance is nothing and the silence is golden.

People try and ruin things and put themselves in the way but i just ignore them.

When you know the truth, you’ll realise what the little stuff mean. I’m scared to say because it will never be the same.

i nearly said how i’ve felt before  but i just think what if we fall?

Chorus:

it will never be the same again, pulling out from each other’s hand. I try to imagine the best scenario but can’t.

I always wanna see your face, see your beauty and grace, but i know if its said right now, it will never be the same again

2nd:

The thought of you with somebody else makes me feel so empty and if you did my heart would break.

It might sound like a cliche but there is nothing i wouldnt do for you.

i’d move heaven and earth, dodge a bullet, but i cant help but think even if i say all this, it’ll be for nothing.

Chorus:

it will never be the same again, pulling out from each other’s hand. I try to imagine the best scenario but can’t.

I always wanna see your face, see your beauty and grace, but i know if its said right now, it will never be the same again

Middle:

I always think that nothing worth having comes easy and thats so true.

but how many times do you have to get knocked down after fighting for it, before you give up?

Chorus: (x2)

it will never be the same again, pulling out from each other’s hand. I try to imagine the best scenario but can’t.

I always wanna see your face, see your beauty and grace, but i know if its said right now, it will never be the same again

Song i wrote a few months back, when something happened with a girl i liked. short but meaningful…

1st:

I think your beautiful, even when you dont

I want you to notice me, but i know you wont

It’a always the simple things that are harder to say

i think about you more and more everysingle day

Your apart of my life, your always here for me and im here for you too.

It hard everytime im not with you

Chorus:

How do you talk to someone if you dont know what to say

i wish i could walk right up to you and say today

im tired and empty relising you wont see me in that way.

2nd:

When you hurt, i hurt, its only because i hate the thought of you upset.

i never thought it could be like this, when we first met.

when your pissed off, im pissed off at that thing, but i’ll know nothing good could ever bring.

i will risk anything for you, there’s not one thing i wouldny try.

How do you talk to someone if you dont know what to say

i wish i could walk right up to you and say today

im tired and empty relising you wont see me in that way.

we went down town and went to see Clothes over bros/Karen’s cafe , also went for a walk along the river front..which was really nice. went to the mall afterwards and cant believe how different it is from uk one’s. had a bad stomach in the afternoon though..which was weird…after a couple of hours i was fine again. Saturday night we went to the Calico bar and met James Lafferty from One Tree Hill. We both had photos with him and even brought me a beer, which was really nice of him. He’s a really nice bloke and Lauren seemed to enjoyed herself, so it was a good night all round really.

Sunday

Woke up in the morning and went for breakfast. Sent a few messages to people back home..hope everything is ok back there. 11 am and  start to feel ill again for another couple of hours…have no idea why..maybe the climate cus it was ridiclously hot.  We made our way to screen Gem studios for a tour of the OTH sets. Got to see Hayley& Nathan’s house, recording house, brooke’s beach house and another place that i cant remember. we went into the screening rooms too, which was awesome…cus it was really interesting to hear the history of features in Wilmington. Had lunch at the Reel cafe, was reall nice then went for a walk by the river front to chill out for a bit. we stayed in and had chinese which wasnt very nice…went to bed pretty early.

Monday

We went down to the studios to see if we could see anyone, but by the time we left no one came out to talk to meet somebody. So we went down town and went on a boat ride to the rivercourt, went to the reel cafe for dinner. Had a nice walk along the river front, the scenery is stunning here. we chilled for a bit outside Kilwins then went back to the hotel to chill. We then went for some food at the Mayfair part of Wilmington..it was really nice.

Tuesday

We started off by going to some OTH sites. we went to see Peyton’s , Brooke’ s and Lucas houses which were beautiful especially Brookes’s . After that we headed down to Wrightsville Beach..it was awesome..such a beautiful place…makes a changed to see beautiful blue sea for once. We then went to the ball park at Half 2 because we found out ‘One Tree Hill’ was being filmed there. Loved every minute and the ballpark looked awesome even if it was stupid-illy hot. Ive never sweated so much just sitting down in all my life. They didnt finish filming until half 6..those 4 hours went so quick and Lauren met and got a photo with Sophia Bush, which was awesome. So happy for her that she met Sophia. She puts her on par with Kelly Clarkson….so really awesome. We then went down town for some food and beer, which was nice but left early becuase we were both really tired.

Wednesday

Chilled out this morning then went to down town for some food and to check out then sights/shops for a final time. Chilled out for the rest of the day really..went to the gym for 20 minutes..but couldn’t carry on,,i was too knackered. watched a nice horror film…cant remember what it was called but was really good, then ordered pizza and sat and ate that for dinner, which was lovely. Then just chilled to watch a couple of hours of Reba ..which i found really good. Realised how strong our friendship is and no one will ever changed it…the 3 months of hard work…really paying off  and making me realise ..its so worth it.

Thursday

Its 9.15 am on Thursday morning, were at the ILM waiting to check in. It looks like ive been away for a while..feeling so tired. probably cus  i know there’s alot of waiting around today. had breakfast after check-in and went to look around the gift shop. i really dont wanna go home. Im in the departure lounge and i feel so privelidged to have spent and shared this expierence with my best friend. Nearly got on the earlier flight but the original passenger turned up. We had to wait while the flight attendant pulled back the jet bridge and it started moving…Lauren said she was scared and she looked nervous ..so funny. Got on the plane to Atlanta and right at the front of the plane..we went through a cloud, which is awesome. Arrived in Atlanta and waiting for the connecting flight to Manchester..had a burger king for lunch and chilled for a bit. ive been thinking while waiting for the flight ive had the best 8 days of my life….it has been amazing..u never thought u could have more respect for a person..i have even more towards Lauren. Im sitting on my seat waiting for my plane to depart from Atlanta. Lauren is 8 rows infront of me, in on the right end aisle. When i walked passed her Lauren attacked me with a pillow, so we had a pillow fight on the plane..being the fully grown adults we are. on the plane, just about to take off and its been delayed an hour. an hour later and now we cant even get to Manchester on this plane…so we have to wait and get on another one. haha Lauren getting vexed with the guy infront while boarding plane to manchester…priceless haha

Friday

Got back in Manc and was greated by Lauren’s uncle who took us to her house where Jean, Tony and Jack where waiting for us. Nice chillin waiting for Mum, Dad and Dan, who were lost somewhere in Derby.  arrived around 4 and they came in to meet Lauren and Jean, which was fantastic. left about 5 and got home for around 6.30.

Lauren – Thanks for letting me share this wonderful experience with you. it really was the most amazing time and always remember what we say “And the dreams that we dare to dream really do come true”

i have my first counselling session today so i decided to search some quotes about life and share them with y’all.

so here’s the one’s i picked out:

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.“

“Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.“

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.“

“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right.“

“What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.“

“Start where you are with what you have. Make something of it and never be satisfied“

Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.“

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.”

“It is good to act as if. It is even better to grow to the point where it is no longer an act.”

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

“In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honor that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes.”

“Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should do, they never get around to do what they want to do.”

“Believe that you can do it, under any circumstances. Because if you believe you can, then you really will. That belief just keeps you searching for the answers, then pretty soon you get it.”

“When you get into a tight place and it seems that you can’t go on, hold on — for that’s just the place and the time that the tide will turn.”"I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”

“I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.”

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”

“If you’re feeling low, don’t despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it comes back up every morning. The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

“Never underestimate your problem or your ability to deal with it.”

“Challenges and difficult times aren’t just those things that occur to someone else. The secret is in learning to turn problems into positives and attacking each issue with action not inaction.”

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”

“The only people who find yesterdays satisfying are those who see no better tomorrows.”

“Fearless is living in spite of th”fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again…even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost”

 ”Fearless is to have faith that someday things will change”

“Please remember to never let anybody tell you that you cant do something. Anything is possible, no matter who you are, or where you come from”

 ”

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.”